“Design has given me a new depth of awareness that overrides insecurity, overthinking, anxiety, depression, seeking life direction, and trying to be seen.”
Previously, peeking tentatively out of my spiritual slumber I asked many Spiritual Teachers, “Am I special? Like, particularly special?”
“Of course you are! Everyone is.” Was the answer I was given, which didn’t quench my thirst for learning and confirming the unique mark I hoped I was here to make.
I had found Human Design about the same time as the influx of radical changes in perspective (I later learned this was what some may call a spiritual awakening). But, although Human Design later gave me all the answers I was seeking, I didn’t know it held those secrets that early on in the game. Apparently, there were other experiences to be had first.
There are a lot of things people try to explain in an effort to prove they are smart and not crazy. For me, this was very ‘open Ajna’, and definitely very not-self ‘open Head’ at the start of the journey. Oh, the money I spent on people I was hoping could inspire me in new ways to unlock my specialty 🫣
I hung on tightly to the spiritual label. It felt right to say that human’s disconnection from Spirit was the basis of our suffering – disconnection from ourselves. I still believe this, but through a different lens. The Human Design lens – which shows us how to know and love ourselves and eradicate all the other negative self-talk garbage.
I did things how other people told me to do them, I bought into the hype, the heresy, the heresay. There was SO SO SO much to know that I didn’t know and others did, so obviously I had a LONG WAY to go to be on the inside loop of spiritual knowledge. I would feel like a good human when I could follow along and keep on, and feel like a failure when eventually the things I was told were good for me lost their shine and I didn’t want to continue. But now I know that buying into stuff just because someone else said it is not the right way. That’s the old way. And I like to disrupt outdated systems.
Once when tuning into a meditation with a Spiritual Teacher, he spoke of the Higher Self as a wave length a ways above the head. I liked this description, and over time I noticed this energetic wave length getting closer and closer to me.
But, it’s different now. This perception has changed.
I no longer seek out psychics, channellers, or people who seem to know more than me in the spiritual world because I don’t need that kind of inspiration anymore. That has probably been my biggest shift moving out of 7-centred spirituality to 9-centred being.
7 and 9 centred-ness is Human Design language for ‘old form / old human’, and ‘new / current form’. We are advanced beings in transitional forms, as we creep towards 2027 when the next advanced form is born into existence – the “Rave”.
For the first part of my journey I carried some resistance for Human Design, for different reasons. I wasn’t quite ready to give up on initiating to feel like I was ‘doing everything I could’, and I didn’t like how seemingly impersonal and mechanical it was. I like to go deep and get intimate with people (Conscious Sun Gate 6) and having a way to show this on paper challenged the certainty I was pretending to have (open Ajna) around my spiritual beliefs.
But now I see how Human Design didn’t take away the intimacy and depth I love to experience with people (or not!). Instead, it gave me the tangible tools to see how I absorb and get absorbed into another – but not get lost in that trip. My passenger consciousness has become stronger, which means it’s better at observing as opposed to ruling. Design has given me a new depth of awareness that overrides insecurity, overthinking, anxiety, depression, seeking direction, and trying to be seen.
In my spiritual phase, it was about psychic erasing and uncreating, heart commands, and more, and now it’s about just noticing and remembering all my not-self tendencies that live 24/7 out of my open centres, and always will.
Ra talks of a tipping point at the 3-4 year mark into your experiment where the mind becomes less strong than the form. It stops being such an effort to stick to your Design and Strategy & Authority. I’m not quite at that mark yet, but I can say that I’ve found excitement in the waiting. I know what’s truly me, consistently, and I know what that feels like – defend ego, spleen, and Channel of Surrender. And when I tune into my Higher Self now, she’s different. The wave form in the column above me that was descending closer and closer to my head has now splintered and fractured to look and feel like Indra’s net, or a golden web of neurons all interconnected and plugged in.
I’m not sure what the journey life will pull towards me next, but I do know that as long as I keep putting my attention into worthwhile things to master my craft, and keep showing up in my right environment and no longer initiate, I’ll be looked after and things will come my way as quickly as they can. As a Projector, I need spaciousness of attention to receive invitations, and in the meantime – hot drinks, sunshine, smiles, connections, touch, love, and laughter.
Your Projector Ally,
Nicola, 4/6 Splenic Projector
Human Design Coach & Guide
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