An Ingress Into the Not-Self - Nicola Henderson Human Design

I am surrounded by spiritual people whom I admire, all of which are connected to Spirit in their own unique and deeply meaningful ways. I’ve spoken out about my reflections of my own spiritual journey, and how I can see many not-self behaviours in it. Hell, my whole life has basically been not-self. The Projector trip.

For those unfamiliar with what I mean by not-self, it is a Human Design term that describes behaviour that is not really ‘us’. “Us” being our definition in the Bodygraph. We see the not-self mostly where we have open centres, and it keeps people in a perpetual state of blind obsession trying to be something they’re not. Your particular ‘not-self’ depends on you, your life experience, and your chart.

For example, my Open G Centre not-self keynote is being ‘fixated on finding love and direction’. I have no consistent or reliable sense of personal direction, and the mind doesn’t like that. The result is a lifetime of fervently seeking meaning, purpose, direction, and love. And now when my mind chimes in and prods me to make changes in my life like move or initiate a relationship, I know that that is my not-self and I do not react.

“Not-self” is not bad. Human Design states that at minimum 96% of people on the planet are living out of their “not self” as opposed to true self. The other 4% have found Design and are at some stage in their de-conditioning process – which likely still involves not-self behaviour – but now they’re aware of it and are living their experience and their Design.

I am this and that. I am a Certified Executive Coach, and a Certified Spiritual Coach. Spirituality landed me on a pretty interesting trajectory, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t filled with not-self behaviour. Because it was.

And that doesn’t make me bad, or flippant, or vilifying of spirituality. I am compelled to share my journey, because I am here to update and improve old ways (Channel of Surrender, a Design of a Transmitter). Human Design strips everything back so there is nowhere to hide, nothing to hide behind. I see things much more clearly now, and the hamster wheel begins to erode… The hamster wheel is the not-self mind.

I really like how one of my readers framed what I’m trying to articulate here. Sandy says,

‘I have spent a good share of my life enjoying and participating in spiritual workshops as an attendee. I sucked it all up – thought I ‘knew’ some things. Now, after living many decades, I ‘know’ nothing and realize that the search must have been the goal itself. I still listen to some podcasts and love reading so it is part of my DNA; however, I now feel that my searching for something outside myself lead me to me. There is something to be said for “I am that I am.”’

I don’t know how life would feel right now if I hadn’t gone through all that I did the last few years. Absolutely no regrets, it was hella interesting.

And this is what I’m trying to get across. Spirituality is akin to Human Design as they’re both trying to connect YOU to YOU. I maintain some inherently spiritual practices, like connecting with the Goddess in my own personal way (who shows up as @sashacolby from @rupaulsdragrace), pulling Oracle cards, and believing whole-heartedly when a friend tells me a story about fairies. I do not dispute the validity of spirituality and mystical forces, however I feel very uncomfortable with many aspects of it and some of the people you find in it. Because it feels disingenuous and… incomplete. But that debate is for another time.

What’s important looking around from where I sit now is noticing my not-self mind play up, and not reacting to it. Just living as myself, which Human Design has shown me how to do.

PS – it does not escape me that it may appear… what’s the word? Hypocritical? To be calling out the tactics of the Spiritual community, in favour of another similarly mystical process. And honestly, it’s not something I can really articulate unless you, too, decide to embark on your Human Design experiment and watch the pieces of your life fall together without effort or wishing.

Nicola Henderson
Human Design Coach & Guide for Success in Life, Love, and Business

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