Desire, pleasure, thoughts, time.
An interesting thing happened. My Mum arrived for a six week holiday. Six weeks might feel like a lot to some, but it doesn’t to me. It feels now as a series of moments that string together the eternal now. I feel like a child again, or an animal; soon she will leave, but it is almost incomprehensible.
I was asked by a friend if I’m looking for a partner; they said they have met someone they might like to ask out, but through their Zen studies they believe that romantic love is the most dangerous desire of all.
Human Design broke my back. I mean, my need to control and initiate the hell out of life – which is one of my many hamster wheels.
I’d like to move (open G), but it’s not time (defined spleen). I’d like a different job (open G, defined ego, open sacral), but I am waiting and seeing. I’d love to find a wonderful man to experience life with (open G), but I’m not giving any thought to the notion that there is anything wrong with my current situation.
So instead I rely on the following to make my moves:
Waiting for the invitation (Projector strategy). Intuitive knowing (splenic authority). A felt sense (feeling cognition). Surrendering to life (Channel of Surrender). Acting only on what needs to happen (need motivation). Letting it come to me. Not initiating. Allowing my aura to speak for me, and supporting the “NO” of my ego. Keeping an eye on the not-self mind.
Three years ago when I started this journey I learned of the not-self as it’s one of the first things you learn, like strategy and authority.
But it took many f*&k ups and many hours of study to get to where I am now. Because truthfully I just didn’t really get it back then. And I still have an infinite way to go; I am the eternal novice.
Having my Mum visit has been a great de-conditioning journey for me as I notice her defined head and ajna controlling my open mind. I am noticing my ego who likes to win be stubborn, while trying to discern what my spleen is saying. The ego is loud, the spleen is quiet.
Mum is a sacral being. A ManiGen. So like I advise the MGs I work with to just slow down a touch, I also must slow down before jumping to blurt out a ‘no’ to be stubborn, or a ‘yes’ because that’s how I’m being swayed. I must pause to check in with my body first. What do I want? The pressure I feel will not go away, and so I learn to get better at living with it.
Desire, pleasure, thoughts, time.
Desire is not a trap unless it comes from your mind.
Pleasure is inherent, defined solar plexus or not. Pleasure is not a sin.
Thoughts truly are like clouds and it’s best to treat them as such.
Time is an illusion, all we have is now.
Embrace the unknown for that’s all we really have anyways.
Nicola Henderson
Human Design Coach & Guide for Success in Life, Love, and Business
