What is a Dark Night of the Soul, why must it be, and how can we traverse it to the best of our ability?
As 2021 and Scorpio season nears its end, much of Australia and beyond has been experiencing some form of deep existential angst. Big changes are happening as we unconsciously hit the “go” button on breaking down old structures to rebuild anew. The old structures and foundations are now outdated, and the pain we can feel during this process might feel a bit like getting a dislocated joint knocked back into place. Ouch! And empaths – not only are we transmuting our own pain and trauma, but also everyone elses. We’re like highly advanced fish tank filters filtering out and cleaning the low vibrational energy of the planet. The air is heavy and thick as mud with fear as we quiver down to the bone fearing for our safety and survival. We worry, “Am I OK?”
What is really being shaken out, I wonder?
After many conversations with people going through similarly hard times, I can tell you. We are being prepared. We are being prepared to step into the next stage, the next level, of our service on this planet. And in order to be leaders of light, we must hold greater amounts of light, and to do this we must process greater amounts of the pain and trauma structures we’ve been carrying around.
This ain’t easy business. Many people I know, myself included, have hardly had the energy to talk lately. But take it from someone who tends to hermit, eat sugar in solitude and internalise her feelings when she’s feeling lost… There are times when being alone to process is healthy, and there are times when it’s in our highest good to reach out for help. There are people who can lift our spirits, and with ease. If you don’t feel you have anyone that can help lift you or at least not drain what precious energy you have, perhaps you can teach those around you what you need instead of just not engaging. This could look like a watch party together of something funny with no talking. Or talking, but no fixing… or just asking to be held while you cry and that’s it… we are all teachers, and we are all students, forever and always. That doesn’t have to be any different when we’re feeling flattened on the sole of the Universe.
🏮
To experience a dark night of the soul means a foray into no-man’s land. This is an unconscious endeavour – it is not planned, anticipated, or to be avoided. You blink and suddenly you find yourself in the land of terror and despair. This barren land is filled with your deepest fears and insecurities. You forget who you are, what you already have and what you’re capable of. All you remember are your shortcomings while the apparent brokenness outweighs any memory of your goodness. You lose all semblance of faith and hope and you start questioning things you thought you were long past.
But it ain’t all bad. 🎈🤡
The greatest gift of this devastating detour is the mandatory slow down. I *think* I am just now coming out of this murky ocean myself, and boy oh boy, I have gotten pretty good at breathing under water…
This latest dark night of the soul has been intense. I’ve been wrangling many aspects of myself and to name a few, I’ve learned that I’m not super comfortable crying, that all I really want is to be held in a loving embrace, that in a moment of desperation sugar feels like my only ally, I can feel inherently unlovable, and that I’m filled with so many stories curated to protect myself in all ways that I could fill a thousand books. I have learned where much of this comes from, but it doesn’t really matter and it doesn’t make me feel any better. All that really matters now is finding the energy, the courage, the humility and the willingness to do the work to unwind and rewire myself.
🏮
I compare our soul/core essence that comes into the world to a beautiful etheric marble statue. We experience ‘all the things’ and then one day we wake up a blob – a shadow of our true selves – dense, heavy, and in pain. And it’s in doing this trauma work that we chip away at the marble to reveal the truth of what we’ve always been. And when we can ask ourselves the question “Who am I?” And be OK with not knowing the answer, that is our answer.
This question initially caused a free-falling sensation in my body, but now I’m coming out the other side of this dark tunnel I’m feeling more OK with the fact that we’re never really supposed to know the answer. Having the answer is not the point. The point is in the question and everything that follows. And it is in this moment, that we find ourselves as the Universe asking itself who it is, reflected back, infinitely and eternally so.
We have to believe that we’re going to come back stronger and better than ever. How interesting it is that we forget that this is even a probability.
So do what you need, allow, be, accept, feel, cry, scream, slump, punch, sleep, cuddle, laugh, love yourself regardless, and hold faith. Change in constant, nothing lasts forever, everything is illusory and life is a game.
Please check out my tips below if you’re feeling the pinch of despair.
🏮
My top tips of navigating a dark night of the soul:
- Allow yourself to slow down, or stop. Honour your energy.
- Try letting others in to help lift your spirits. Teach them what you need from them if they’re unsure how to handle what you’re bringing.
- Even if you feel like a black hole, you can still bring a sliver of compassion into the room. Bring in the compassion.
- Hold the faith that you will be stronger out the other side.
- Feel as much as you can, and practice detaching the stories from the emotions.
- Practice heart commands. Here is a good example of one that I learned from Elizabeth Wood, and a good one for empaths to help clear our fields. Say out loud: “Dear Heart, lift and allow any and all energy that is not mine to move through my field, NOW.” Take a deep breath. Repeat if necessary.
- Get comfortable with the unknown.
