I’ve always been self-conscious and afraid of being seen by men – while also secretly wishing for all their attention. To validate my worth, of course.
I feared judgment, imagining their disapproving eyes casting over my body and dismissing me without a word.
This projection reverberated throughout my body, making me feel small and misunderstood.
It didn’t matter what they actually thought – I held a core belief that I was disgusting, unlovable, and wrong.
I carried this wounding for many, many years.
But not anymore.
There have been a few factors that led to me being more comfortable being seen by men.
- I channeled the essence and energy of love. Wrote a poem about it, and discovered that since I knew everything in this universe to be love, that I must also be love. And, loveable.
2. I actually like to be observed. So I flipped the script on myself. Whenever I felt anxious about being seen, walking through a busy street or restaurant, I’d say to myself, “if you wanna look, look!” And my anxiety turned into power.
3. I have been going regularly for Zenthai Shiatsu sessions. It’s an intimate, fully clothed, body movement/somatic release practice where you get lifted and moved by the practitioner in a really loving and caring way. Now, I just smile when my mind worries that “my legs are too heavy!” as he’s lifting & moving them around.
“Wherever we have painful, self-deprecating thoughts, we have a core wound that’s asking to be seen.”
Don’t believe those crazy thoughts – but do notice them, so you can heal them and break free from destructive thought patterns.
And remember –
You are more than your body, your worries, your perceived life on earth now. There is a broader, fuller perspective available to us when we reconnect with our soul and see life on earth for what it is –
A beautiful, rich, intricate, loving opportunity to be alive and feel, love, and share all that you are with all that there is.
Learning how to notice & deprogram these negative core beliefs has changed my life. In so many ways.
If you resonate with this and would like some help with your core wounding, send me an email with subject line “no!” and let’s have a little convo about it and how i might be able to help you.
Loving y’all –
Nic 
xxx
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